#rand

An errand is getting a tank of gas or picking up a carton of milk or something. It is not getting chased by flying purple pyromaniac gorillas hurling incendiary poo! ↗

— Jim Butcher

#errands #incendiary-poo #pyromaniac-gorillas #danger

Nothing says work efficiency like panic mode. ↗

— Don Roff

#editing #efficiency #funny #humor #panic

A brick could create a clear winner in a fight if instead of fighting pillows against blankets, you fought bricks against blankets. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor

don't make me throw my boot at you, because I will, you grumpy high testosterone driven male ↗

— Keisha Keenleyside

#humour #random #funny

Darling Daddy, Poor Saffy. She had a big fight in the boys toilets on Monday, did you know? A very big fight and Sarah helped and it was terrifying. Said a boy in my class who has a brother who was there. Saffy washed her hands and said Never Ever Never Dare You Touch My Brother. (Indigo). And the plug holes were blocked with hair. Love from Rose. -Sarah's mother has given us soup. Soup soup soup and then it was all gone. L.F.R. ↗

— Hilary McKay

#kids #notes #family

Darling Daddy, This is Rose. Saffy says everyone says it is Indigo's fault that their Head has two black eyes and a swelled-up nose. Love from Rose. P.S. Sarah who is here says to tell you love from wheelchair woman too. Rose's father telephoned especially to tell Rose not to call Sarah Wheelchair Woman. "That's what she called herself," protested Rose. "She thought of it! Aren't you worried about what I told you about Indigo and the Head?" "What?" asked Bill. "Oh that! Two black eyes and a swollen nose! I don't think I can believe that one, Rose darling! ↗

— Hilary McKay

#funny-and-random #notes #family

The personal values managers reported being the most under pressure to compromise to do their jobs successfully: 1. Family 2. Integrity. ↗

— Stan Slap

#branding #branding-culture #keynote-speaker #keynote-speech #leadership-quotes

LUKE: I didn’t know I ever had a grandfather. JESSICA: I am surprised you never inquired whether you should. Having a grandfather is an excellent way to establish a legacy for oneself. LUKE: In that case, I’d like five grandfathers. JESSICA: In due time. Grandfathers don’t grow on family trees. They require convincing documentation and consistent memories of wisdom and inspiration. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #grandfathers #humor #family

A brick could be tied to a cape, and then exalted as a superhero. Is that any more absurd than Superman?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket could be used to trick a bull into charging at you. After you trick the bull, trick a bear next, and then by that time all the investors will be playing your game, not even knowing that you are the Blanket Master that controls the world.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny