#rand

Damn it. Reyes could be such a butthead. Freaking Antichrists. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#funny

My melon soul Crushed by your Gallagher of apathy ↗

— David Wong

#lyrics #random #funny

[...] The alpha-wolf has hurt himself [...]." "What happened to the alpha-wolf?" "LEGOs." "Legos?" It sounded Greek but I couldn't recall anything mythological with that name. Wasnt it an island? "He was carrying a load of laundry into the basement and tripped on the old set of LEGOs his kids left on the stairs. Broke two ribs and an ankle. He'll be out of comission for two weeks." Curran shook his head. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#funny-and-random #kate #funny

Our faces will become works of art that our grandchildren will treasure. ↗

— Adriana Trigiani

#grandchildren #love #art

A company could use bricks to measure their growth rate. How many bricks have angry investors thrown at you lately? If the answer is none, then your growth rate is probably pretty good… for the moment. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #finance #finance-humor

If you’re a struggling artist having money problems just superglue a brick in the middle of a blanket, and call it art. Someone will buy it. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

What's purple mean?" Adrian put his hand on the door. "Gotta go, Sage. Dont want to keep Dorothy waiting ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny

I’m supposed to figure out if the glass is half full or half empty,” I told her. Without a moment’s hesitation, in a split second, my grandmother shrugged and said: “It depends on if you’re drinking or pouring. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#grandma #life #optimist #perspective #pessimist

I have four grown children and two tiny grandchildren. ↗

— Brock Yates

#four #grandchildren #grown #i #tiny

A brick is a rust-colored blur of movement, caught in a moment, and transformed from motion into a physical object. Studying this brick would give scientists an insight into how fast I run.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket #funny #humor #random #strange