#random

Our eyes met from across the street. She was wrapped in the Earth’s mantle; I was shrouded in the cloak of heaven. Together our indecent exposure echoed through the air. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #indecent-exposure #random #funny

Even the Thanksgiving when her parents had just divorced, Hoosier Pie made the cut. ...They also, incidentally, made a pumpkin pie, but it fell on the floor, a classic example of survival of the fittest ↗

— Molly Wizenberg

#funny

I never thought that someday men will also use an iPAD. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#funny-and-random #ipad #men #funny

Well blow me down with a solar flare. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#humor #random #silly #funny

A brick could be used as a Disappointment Cube. Here, I’m giving mine to you, because you really bummed me out, man.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be licked, like a cat’s asshole. But obviously inversed, because your tongue is soft and the brick is rough.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to save humanity from mortality. Or at least save us from mortar. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to instill patience in a pupil. Not a pupil as in part of an iris, but a pupil as in student. Seems a bit silly to try to teach eyes patience, because they enjoy staring at a blank screen every night while their surrounding body is prone to lying prone in bed for eight hours. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I took a nap and used a napkin as a blanket. Obviously, it was a little nap. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to double back, donkey levitate cough meow cough meow hiss on giraffe shaft stroke a local bloke bludgeon Armageddon—not my arm, Sorry, I think I just had a stroke.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny