#random

If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#crazy #funny #funny-and-random #humor #love

Knocking the shrieking goblins aside like skittles ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#death

Natural selection is anything but random. ↗

— Richard Dawkins

#natural #natural selection #random #selection

Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you. ↗

— Princess Diana

#carry #day #expectation #kindness #knowledge

A sex trophy should be functional, and shaped like a dildo, yet decorative, and shaped like Ben Bernanke. Insert it in your ass as desired.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#decorative #functional #funny #humor #random

A brick could be used in place of a parachute, and a blanket could be used as a permanent wall of a house. In both cases, the skydiver and home dweller would ideally be a politician.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A woman cannot ever be sure of not being married till she is buried, Mrs. Doctor, dear, and meanwhile I will make a batch of cherry pies. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#random #woman #dreams

Game shows are designed to make us feel better about the random, useless facts that are all we have left of our education. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#better #designed #education #facts #feel

Nothing says work efficiency like panic mode. ↗

— Don Roff

#editing #efficiency #funny #humor #panic

A brick could create a clear winner in a fight if instead of fighting pillows against blankets, you fought bricks against blankets. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny #humor