#random

A blanket could be used to keep me single. Not that I need any help from anybody or anything to stay single. Actually, to stay single, I need the full cooperation of the entire female population, which is kind of impressive, because in conclusively and inclusively agreeing not to date me, it's like the first time in human history a collective has ever fully agreed on something. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

And they all lived happily ever after (barring death, divorce, arrest for tax fraud, that incident with the pool boy...) ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#death

I may not agree with a word that you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. ↗

— Voltaire

#textbook #death

I miss Agatha like green misses yellow and blue. She made me who I am. If not for her I’d probably be burnt orange right now. If orange is the color of fire, what is burnt orange? Is that like burning fire? How do you burn something that is itself fire? That’s like asking how do you kill death? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#random #death

A brick could be used to keep you three inches away from death.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

He said that the principal function of music was to organize the details into harmonies that were intended to make us forget that there was randomness all around us. The same, he said, could be said for great books. ↗

— Seldon Edwards

#music #randomness #music

Kick the blanket, don’t kick the bucket—especially if that bucket is full of death (or bricks).
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I've purged myself of worldly goods; half my stuff is either being sold or going to charity. I need to go shopping. ↗

— Christy Leigh Stewart

#funny-and-random #shop #shopaholic #shopping #funny

A football could be swapped out for a brick, to make family reunion football games more fun. But I’m calling it right now: I get to be quarterback.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Sleep with family is a napkin (nap plus kin), and I used a napkin as a blanket.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny