#relatio

I want to write a song about retaliation called, "Oh Yeah, and I Faked Every Orgasm...While You Were Out of Town. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #relationships #retaliation #revenge

I think you always have to find where the boundary is in relation to the context in order to be able to kind of articulate how you want the space to interact with the viewer. ↗

— Richard Serra

#always #articulate #boundary #context #find

This is me.’" He handed her the precious scrap of paper. ‘Call me or I’ll call you, but one of us will call, yes? What I mean is it’s not a competition. You don’t lose if you phone first ↗

— David Nicholls

#relationship #humor

Lovers do things together! They rent videos, they ride Ferris wheels, they go out for pizza, they play Scrabble. They . . . they talk!' 'Talk?' He lifted his head and frowned, his eyes puzzled. 'We talk all the time, Raine. I've never had such talkative sex.' 'That's just it!' She wiggled, flailed, but couldn't budge him. 'Two minutes alone with you, and I'm flat on my back. Every single time!' A slow, knowing grin spread over his face. 'Is this your way of telling me you want to be on top? ↗

— Shannon McKenna

#humor #relationships #sex #funny

I had a dream about you last night.. You were balancing ten tiny footballs on your nose while dancing with a turquoise unicorn. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You were lost in a daydream, when I walked in and you began screaming. But I know that could never actually happen. In real life I only enter people’s nightmares. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night... you were there. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. In my dream I stole all your money, kidnapped your parents, and mailed you mannequin parts spray-painted red in a series of packages that also included ransom notes. Then, towards the end of the dream, the cops surrounded my cave and swarmed in to arrest me. Sweating, my eyes shot open, and I realized it was a dream. “Of course it’s a dream,” I thought. “The cops have no idea where my cave is, and your first package has yet to be delivered.”
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

If he or she doesn't see or respect your present value nor your future dream the moment you connected there is little or no chance that he or she will do in future. ↗

— Bernard Kelvin Clive

#relationship #respecting-others #dreams

I had a dream about you last night... you kept meowing at people and licking yourself it was not unlike you normally. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships