#s

You might as well laugh at yourself, everyone else is. ↗

— B.J. Neblett

#irony #laughter #sarcasm #satirical #humor

Two farewell gifts," Sadie muttered, "from two gorgeous guys. I hate my life. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #kane #kane-chronicles #romance #sadie

Libations are for the gods. Cocktails are for mere mortals. ↗

— Jonathan Kieran

#blogs #books #goodreads #humor #jonathan-kieran

I don't see why you two can't get along." "It is a personality issue," Rathenridge muttered. Dentin looked at him. No emotion, no reaction, simply bland observation. "Yours? ↗

— Rachel Rossano

#duty #humor #personality-types #rachel-rossano #rathenridge

Oh God, my stomach must have won a medal- it's doing a lap of honour now. ↗

— Ali McNamara

#love-story #humor

I hope I never smell the smell of apples again!" said Fili. "My tub was full of ut. To smell apples everlastingly when you can scarcely move and are cold and sick with hunger is maddening. I could eat anything in the wide world now for hours on end - but not an apple! ↗

— J.R.R. Tolkien

#fantasy #humor #humor

Most of the pack would rather have Darryl mad at them than Auriele. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#darryl #humor #mercy-thompson #silver-borne #humor

—¿Así que no vas a preguntar? Lo estudié, entrecerrando los ojos. Tenía un mal presentimientos sobre esto. Pero las palabras salieron de mi boca, totalmente fuera de mi control. —¿Por qué te llaman Horse? —Porque me cuelga como a uno —respondió, sonriendo. ↗

— Joanna Wylde

#sexy #humor

How about a rain check?' She smiles, but I know it's not real because it doesn't crinkle her eyes. 'Sure. Some other time.' I nod and grab my car keys. Before I flip the light on in the grage, she's behind me, tugging on my backpack. 'You want to go to school? Fine. But you're not driving. Give me the key.' 'I'm okay, Mom, really. I'll see you tonight.' I plant a quick kiss on her cheek and turn to the door again. 'That's nice. Give it to me.' She holds out her hand. I clench the key in my fist. 'You practically shoved that car down my throat Monday, and now youre taking the key. What did I do?' 'What did you do? Well, for starters, you used your face to stop a cafeteria door from swinging open. ↗

— Anna Banks

#funny #humor #of-poseidon #funny

The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want, but when you start interfering with the right to get caffeinated, someone has to pay. ↗

— Chris Kyle

#american #bush #caffeine #coffee #humor