#san

A Dutch parent has a decidedly hairier story to relate, telling his children, 'Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before going to bed. The former bishop of Turkey will be coming tonight along with six to eight black men. They might put some candy in your shoes, they might stuff you into a sack and take you to Spain, or they might just pretend to kick you. We don't know for sure, but we want you to be prepared. ↗

— David Sedaris

#humor #santa-claus #family

Men aren't the way they are because they want to drive women crazy; they've been trained to be that way for thousands of years. And that training makes it very difficult for men to be intimate. ↗

— Barbara de Angelis

#been #crazy #difficult #drive #intimate

I think that the best way to explain that is that my mother gave me all the color and character and flare and liveliness, and my father gave me all the sanity and nature and all the things that helped me be a more rounded human being. ↗

— Julie Andrews

#best #best way #character #color #explain

So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear. ↗

— Jeff Kinney

#santa #sleep #behavior

I have the ability to see results six months later and there's no better feeling. We impact on thousands of people in the world. And in New York, which is the roughest, when people appreciate what we're doing, it puts the Simoniz back on the apple. ↗

— Curtis Sliwa

#apple #appreciate #back #better #doing

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome. ↗

— Isaac Asimov

#death #peaceful #pleasant #transition #troublesome

Making a million dollars is the simplest thing in the world. Just find a product that sells for $2,000 and that you can buy at a cost of $1,000, and sell a thousand of them. ↗

— Jerry Gillies

#cost #dollars #find #just #making

My daughter is here in town doing a play, and her dog is staying with us. We live up in the hills, so he has access to thousands of acres of wilderness. ↗

— Rene Auberjonois

#acres #daughter #dog #doing #her

Thousands have lived without love, not one without water. ↗

— W. H. Auden

#love #thousands #water #without

O my God, what must a soul be like when it is in this state! It longs to be all one tongue with which to praise the Lord. It utters a thousand pious follies, in a continuous endeavor to please Him who thus possesses it. ↗

— Saint Teresa of Avila

#endeavor #follies #god #him #like