#sarcasm

Dear Karma, I really hate you right now, you made your point. ↗

— Ottilie Weber

#sarcasm #family

Jules stood up and stretched gracelessly. “Let’s hurry up and pay before she”-she indicated Claire with a flick of her thumb-“sees something shiny and we lose her again. ↗

— Kimberly Derting

#sarcasm #funny

You’re sure you didn’t leave? Didn’t try to explore Thunder Bay again, maybe go down to the park and, I don’t know, dismember some poor jogger? ↗

— Kendare Blake

#murder #sarcasm #funny

He made a sound of disgust in the back of his throat. "Oh thank you so much. That's what every man wants to hear about his name. You might as well call me 'Little Pecker' while you're at it and tell me you would love to have me go shopping with you for feminine hygiene products. Oh and by all means, carry a big, sparkling pink bag with flowers on it and make me hold it. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#sarcasm #funny

Oh," she said, in a very different way. "Well. Thanks for my part in the compliment. Naturally I'd love to be watched and controlled, but I think I may be washing my hair that day. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#sarcasm #funny

Arjuro made a scoffing sound. ‘You think Lumatere will invade because of you? Are you that important?’ Froi looked away. ‘Isaboe would invade if you kidnapped a servant, let alone a friend.’ ‘Isaboe? We’re on first-name terms with the Queen of Lumatere, are we?’ Gargarin asked. Froi found himself bristling. ‘What? Do you think I’m some cutthroat for hire who they found hanging around the palace walls with the words “I want to kill a Charynite King” tattooed on my arse? ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#froi #funny #sarcasm #funny

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#control-freaks #control-issues #cynic #cynical #cynical-humor

You can give me detention. Oh, wait, that's right...you aren't the boss of me. So I guess you can just bite me. -Dean ↗

— Jeff Mariotte

#humor #sarcasm #science-fiction #humor

Does the Pope love Jesus? ↗

— Dana Marie Bell

#humor

It was stealing her breath, imbecile. Go get a towel." -Christophe, Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow ↗

— Lilith Saintcrow

#sarcasm #humor