#sarcasm

How 'bout a shot of truth in that denial cocktail. ↗

— Jennifer Salaiz

#hate #lies #love #sarcasm #truth

And fetch some straw. We’ll put it between us and the ground. No reason we shouldn’t sleep soft tonight.” “Straw. I love luxury. ↗

— Joanna Bourne

#sarcasm #love

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Was she on some sort of Candid Camera version of This is Your Sucky Love Life? ↗

— Nicki Elson

#love #romance #sarcasm #love

I frowned at him. "Isn't sarcasm the opiate of the masses?" "You're thinking of religion," he replied. "Sarcasm is the Xanax of the morally bereft. ↗

— Cecily White

#religion #sarcasm #religion

Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves." "You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these last twenty years at least. ↗

— Jane Austen

#hysteria #irony #nerves #sarcasm #respect

I am a story teller. If I wanted to send a message I would have written a sermon. ↗

— Philip Pullman

#writing #story

Don't stop there. I suppose there are also, what, vampires and werewolves and zombies?" "Of course there are. Although you mostly find zombies farther south, where the voudun priests are." "What about mummies? Do they only hang around Egypt?" "Don't be ridiculous. No one believes in mummies. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #joke #mummies #sarcasm #vampire

He just waited until I stopped talking and said, 'Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives. So what's your theory? ↗

— John Green

#police #sarcasm #guns

Belladonna, n.: In Italian, a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. ↗

— Ambrose Bierce

#definitions #humor #poison #sarcasm #women

Your wit is always such a delight, Mr. Zeklos. I can barely contain myself around it. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#sarcasm #humor