#sarcasm

Will suspected Jem was in fact cleverer than he was himself - but he lacked Will's tendency to assume the absolute worst about people and proceed from there. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#morally-deficant #sarcasm #funny

What did Isabelle want?" Jace asked. Alec hesitated. "Isabelle says the Queen of the Seelie Court has requested an audience with us." "Sure," said Magnus. "And Madonna wants me as a backup dancer on her next world tour." Alec looked puzzled. "Who's Madonna?" "Who's the Queen of the Seelie Court?" said Clary. "She is the Queen of Faerie," said Magnus. "Well, the local one, anyway." Jace put his head in his hands. "Tell Isabelle no." "But she thinks it's a good idea," Alec protested. "Then tell her no twice. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny #madonna #sarcasm #funny

Jace said that the cast of Gilligan's Island could do something anatomically unlikely with themselves. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny #gilligan-s-island #jace #laugh #mortal-instruments

Jules stood up and stretched gracelessly. “Let’s hurry up and pay before she”-she indicated Claire with a flick of her thumb-“sees something shiny and we lose her again. ↗

— Kimberly Derting

#sarcasm #funny

You’re sure you didn’t leave? Didn’t try to explore Thunder Bay again, maybe go down to the park and, I don’t know, dismember some poor jogger? ↗

— Kendare Blake

#murder #sarcasm #funny

He made a sound of disgust in the back of his throat. "Oh thank you so much. That's what every man wants to hear about his name. You might as well call me 'Little Pecker' while you're at it and tell me you would love to have me go shopping with you for feminine hygiene products. Oh and by all means, carry a big, sparkling pink bag with flowers on it and make me hold it. ↗

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

#sarcasm #funny

Oh," she said, in a very different way. "Well. Thanks for my part in the compliment. Naturally I'd love to be watched and controlled, but I think I may be washing my hair that day. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#sarcasm #funny

Arjuro made a scoffing sound. ‘You think Lumatere will invade because of you? Are you that important?’ Froi looked away. ‘Isaboe would invade if you kidnapped a servant, let alone a friend.’ ‘Isaboe? We’re on first-name terms with the Queen of Lumatere, are we?’ Gargarin asked. Froi found himself bristling. ‘What? Do you think I’m some cutthroat for hire who they found hanging around the palace walls with the words “I want to kill a Charynite King” tattooed on my arse? ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#froi #funny #sarcasm #funny

I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-" "It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#retort #sarcasm #stubborn #superpower #humor

YES. BECAUSE THAT'S HOW I ROLL. LIKE A SUAVE THING. In fact, from here on, please forward my mail to 1 Suave Hill, Suave Boulevard, Suavieland, Planet of She's-So-Smooth-I-Can't-Believe-She's-Not-Butter. ↗

— Michele Jaffe

#sarcasm #humor