#sarcasm

Well, it just figures," Younger told him, like a man explaining his religion. ↗

— Richard Stark

#sarcasm #religion

Andrew just shrugged, and I fiddled with the napkin in my lap while glancing idly around the restaurant. The obligatory mirrors hung on the walls, and there was one of those fountains with fake lily pads in the entryway. The restaurant was also lit like a mine shaft. I've never understood why dim lighting is supposed to be so romantic. Night vision belongs into a Paris Hilton sex tape - not in a restaurant that could potentially poison me with peanut sauce. ↗

— Alicia Thompson

#restaurants #sarcasm #romantic

While the Clave disapproves of trespassers, oddly they take an even darker view of beheading and skinning people. They're peculiar that way. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humour #sarcasm #will-herondale #humour

Imitating someone is the mediocre way of getting humanity back to what we evolved from. ↗

— Shubham Choudhary

#sarcasm #satire #satire

Satan impregnated my mother one lovely spring morning. We didn’t have the heart to tell my father. ↗

— Holly Hood

#family #funny #life #sarcasm #family

Sarcasm: the last refuge of modest and chaste-souled people when the privacy of their soul is coarsely and intrusively invaded. ↗

— Fyodor Dostoevsky

#last #modest #people #privacy #refuge

Listen, Peaches, trickery is what humans are all about," said the voice of Maurice. "They're so keen on tricking one another all the time that they elect governments to do it for them. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #politics #sarcasm #trickery #voting

You don’t like my restaurant, Miss Connor?” “I couldn’t say since the waiting list to get in is six months long.” One side of his mouth curved up. “This is true.” His finger lingered, and I tried to swallow the nervous lump in my throat. “I think you can call me by my first name now, seeing as how you’re touching my boob. That puts us a little past formality, don’t you think? ↗

— Jenny Lyn

#food-and-sex #funny #humor #jenny-lyn #sarcasm

I need to ask, are you afraid of spiders?" Nicholas blinked, suddenly caught off guard, "Yes, I'm afraid of spiders." "Were you always?" "What are you, a psychiatrist?" Pritam took a breath. He could feel Laine's eyes on him, appraising his line of questioning. "Is it possible that the trauma of losing your best friend as a child and the trauma of losing your wife as an adult and the trauma of seeing Laine's husband take his life in front of you just recently..." Pritam shrugged and raised his palms, "You see where I'm going?" Nicholas looked at Laine. She watched back. Her gray eyes missed nothing. "Sure," agreed Nicholas, standing. "And my sister's nuts, too, and we both like imagining that little white dogs are big nasty spiders because our daddy died and we never got enough cuddles." "Your father died?" asked Laine. "When?" "Who cares?" Pritam sighed. "You must see this from our point of - " "I'd love to!" snapped Nicholas. "I'd love to see it from your point of view, because mine is not that much fun! It's insane! It's insane that I see dead people, Pritam! It's insane that this," he flicked out the sardonyx necklace,"stopped me from kidnapping a little girl!" "That's what you believe," Pritam said carefully. "That's what I fucking believe!" Nicholas stabbed his finger through the air at the dead bird talisman lying slack on the coffee table. ↗

— Stephen M. Irwin

#anger #childhood-trauma #death #defensive #grief

Coming into your powers can be a very confusing time. Perhaps there is a book on the subject. If you like, we can go see Marian." Yeah, right. Choices and Changes. A Modern Girl's Guide to Casting. My Mom Wants to Kill Me: A Self-Help Book For Teens. ↗

— Kami Garcia

#humor #sarcasm #young-adult #beauty