#sarcasm

He just waited until I stopped talking and said, 'Jesus, kid, you're almost a detective. All you need now is a gun, a gut, and three ex-wives. So what's your theory? ↗

— John Green

#police #sarcasm #guns

Yes. Yes I am. I am a completely demented misogynist. ↗

— Bret Easton Ellis

#sarcasm

The platform underneath the balloon fell on her as she was trying to escape," she explained. "She was crushed." "I'd have been disappointed too. ↗

— Anthony Horowitz

#sarcasm #alex

But I'll be fine. I'll be with Tod. He's a good guy, you know." He just hides it under all the sarcasm and curls. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#mr-cavanaugh #soul-screamers #tod #sarcasm

Oh no. Oh God. I couldn't possibly be so stupid." "Don't limit yourself. You can be anything you wish. ↗

— Tessa Dare

#teasing #sarcasm

Sarcasm will make your tits fall off. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#gullibility #sarcasm #sarcasm

I thought you were a drunk." "A drunk?" "Bloodshot eyes, dirty clothes, getting home in the wee hours of the morning, making a lot of noise, grouchy all the time as if you had a hangover… what else was I to think?" He rubbed his face. "Sorry, I wasn't thinking. I should have showered, shaved, and dressed in a suit before I came out to tell you that you were making enough noise to raise the dead. ↗

— Linda Howard

#sarcasm #sarcasm

What happened?" he demanded. "I heard an explosion!" "Yeah.That was me. I set the boat alight." "What?" "I set fire to the boat." "But we're on the boat!" "I know. ↗

— Anthony Horowitz

#alex-rider #sarcasm #sarcasm

Vampires were always either trying to kill me, or own me. God I hated being popular. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#sarcasm #vampires #sarcasm

We had and incident. I took care of it." "Really." Jace's voice dripped sarcasm. "Do you even know how to use that knife, Clarissa? Without poking a hole in yourself or any innocent bystanders? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace #mortal-instruments #sarcasm #sarcasm