#sarcasm

You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister." "Am I?" the dwarf replied, sardonic. "Do tell my lord father. My mother died birthing me, and he's never been sure." "I don't even know who my mother was," Jon said. "Some woman, no doubt. Most of them are." He favored Jon with a rueful grin. "Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs." And with that he turned and sauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune. When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#dwarfs #humor #jon-snow #king #sarcasm

I was supposed to be waiting up here when you got back, only your Phoenix lot got in the way...” “Yes, they do that,” said Dumbledore. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #malfoy #order-of-the-phoenix #sarcasm #humor

Alessa looked at Brennus giving him a smirk. “Brennus.” “Alessa.” “Still think that you are the God’s gift to all faeries?” “Still trying to convince yourself that I am not?” Brennus responded smirking arrogantly and leaning back in his chair. ↗

— B.C. Morin

#sarcasm #humor

What is your collective GPA for this year?” “Not as high as I'd like it to be.” Freud steepled his fingers in front of his mouth. “What about your parents?” “I don't know. They haven't been in school for a while. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#interrogation #sarcasm #humor

How touching. I think I'm gonna throw up. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#sarcasm-humor #humor

She never saw the point of making fun of strangers – how could you possibly know enough about them to hit below the belt? ↗

— Daniel Marks

#humorous-quotations #sarcasm #humor

I sighed and deleted the message, imagining the dirty clothes multiplying like rabbits, because that’s what they do when I’m not around. ↗

— Alex Owens

#motherhood #sarcasm #imagination

Never mumble some sarcastic shit to somebody who can obviously fuck you up. ↗

— Ice-T

#life

Sketchy black van? Weird stalking of my house? What are you going to do next, offer me some candy? ↗

— Hannah Harrington

#hannah-harrington #harper-scott #humour #jake-tolan #sarcasm

Edna restored the toffee to the centre of her tongue and sucking pleasurably, resumed her typing of Naked Love by Armand Levine. Its painstaking eroticism left her uninterested--as indeed it did most of Mr. Levine's readers, in spite of his efforts. He was a notable example of the fact that nothing can be duller than dull pornography. ↗

— Agatha Christie

#humour #pornography #sarcasm #love