#sarcasm

I was planning to end this phase after a few weeks, but after one particular meeting, the lead advisor asked me not to come back. She said she'd noticed that every time I was asked to give a suggestion about an ex-husband to a grieving divorcee, I always said, "You should have him murdered. ↗

— Whitney Gracia Williams

#sarcasm #love

Yes, we'll yell, 'Help, help us, goose girl, and bring the terrifying legion of warrior geese'. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#humor #isi #sarcasm #humor

Yes. Reyn is our resident horse master. He has an excellent seat." I grinned. "I've noticed." Reyn's face tightened and Nell flushed, looking embarrassed. "It's an equestrian term." "Really? I thought you were talking about his ass. ↗

— Cate Tiernan

#sarcasm #teasing #witty #humor

No. No way. That name is reserved for females with grace and elegance, not this girl. This girl is...beastly. ↗

— Victoria Scott

#lol #sarcasm-humor #humor

Don't worry about it; only worry about how people like her breed. ↗

— Gasmaskman

#humor #sarcasm #witty #humor

And I know I'm sarcastic and defensive and I make a joke out of everything and am highly resistant to anything that reeks of sentimental corniness, but I'm giving you my heart anyway because being with you feels like home, and I know you won't break it. ↗

— Shauna Cross

#love #sarcasm #whip-it #love

You're just Little Miss Optimist, aren't you? Do you come with accessories, like a glass half full and lemons to make into lemonade, too? ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor #kiss-of-death #morganville-vampires #optimism #rachel-caine

I've given her signs! I've given her plenty of signs. What does she want me to do? Slap him across the face with my glove, and challenge him to pistols at dawn? ↗

— Molly Ringle

#fights #humor #love #sarcasm #love

Don’t make me climb across this desk and slap you, because I will. ↗

— H.M. Ward

#fight #humor #love #sarcasm #love

Most wives fuck their husbands, just to ensure financial support. Marriage is just a form of legalized prostitution, when you really thought about it. ↗

— K. Syrah

#witty #marriage