#sarcasm

I stood for almost an hour in a line of shuffling, bitter - eyed late mailers (Christmas is such a carefree, low - pressure time - that's one of the things I love about it),... ↗

— Stephen King

#christmas #sarcasm #love

I try to smile at her, but I can't extend my flexibility training to my mouth, it just won't move. ↗

— Steph Campbell

#sadness #sarcasm #humor

الأدباء ينتحرون دائما في النهاية. رجال التحريات يعرفون هذا. لكنهم كذلك يعرفون أن الأدباء لا يبذلون جهدا في إخفاء جثثهم بعد الإنتحار. إنهم مهملون ويتركون جثثهم بأمخاخهاالمتفجرة وشرايينها المقطوعة في أي مكان، كأن باقي البشر خدمٌ لهم. إنهم مغرورون كذلك. ↗

— أحمد خالد توفيق

#sarcasm #humor

How many kids are in the Graveyard?" "A bunch." "Who sends your supplies?" "George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget." "How often do you receive new arrivals?" "About as often as you beat your wife. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#humorous #risa-ward #sarcasm #sarcastic #snark

I’m not bipolar, I’ve just had a bipolar life foisted upon me. ↗

— Daniel O'Malley

#humor #sarcasm #scifi #humor

We were in such good moods, we even decided to hit Todd's house for candy. Sam rang the doorbell, and when it opened, this hideous, rubber monster face roared at us. Sam screamed. Todd started laughing and took off the mask. I yelled, "Put it back on! Put it back on! Your hideousness is terrifying!" Todd did a fake yuk-yuk-yuk at my joke. "What are you guys supposed to be? Is it Prom Night Massacre or something?" Sam sighed at Todd's obvious stupidity. "We're zombie princesses, Todd. Can't you tell?" She stuck her arms straight out in front of her and said, "BRAINS! BRAINS!" I patted Sam on the head and said, "Sorry, Sam. You're wasting your time with this one. ↗

— Kristin Walker

#humor #sarcasm #humor

Discord says it's a good idea. That's comforting. ↗

— Melissa Marr

#donia #sarcasm #love

Mystics are all a bit funny in the head anyway," the priest added cynically, "which is why the church locks them all up in mental hospitals and euphemistically calls these institutions monasteries. ↗

— Robert Anton Wilson

#sarcasm #funny

So the reason I was struck again and again was because of my overwhelmingly positive energy. Funny, I'd always thought of myself as a pessimist. ↗

— Jennifer Bosworth

#energy #funny #irony #lightning #sarcasm

You did not just say that. I have a feeling we're on the verge of hugging and coming up with cute nicknames for each other. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#sarcasm #humor