#sarcasm

Have you tried talking to her?" "No. We've been punching her in the face repeatedly. What? You don't think that will work? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Alec looked at her and shook his head. "How do you manage never to get mud on your clothes?" Isabelle shrugged philosophically. "I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-ashes #clean #dirt #humor #isabelle-lightwood

That's a good attitude. You should hate me more, curse me more, and detest me! Then you should take the power of that hatred and use it to survive this rotten world. ↗

— Sorachi Hideaki

#humorous #life #manga #sarcasm #strength

He paused at the bedroom door, shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and walked right out like it was any other morning, and he and Jack would be having breakfast as if they hadn't had sex the night before. "Morning," he said, casting a quick glance over his shoulder. "Mmm," D grunted. "You done in the bathroom?" D blinked. No, I jus' took a little breather in the middle a my mornin' beauty ritual ta come out here 'n' chat with ya. A course I'm done. ↗

— Jane Seville

#jane-seville #sarcasm #beauty

I knew it was beautiful, but knowing something is beautiful and caring about it are two very different things, and I didn't care. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#sarcasm #beauty

The Bibbidi Bobbidi Beautiful boutique, the name filled me with dread. ↗

— Jessica Fortunato

#sarcasm #wordplay #work #beauty

Why were you lurking under our window?" "Yes - yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?" "Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice. His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage. "Listening to the news! Again?" "Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #news #sarcasm #change

His voice, the very sound of rolling eyes. ↗

— Thomas Mullen

#death

My new 9mm didn’t fit my hand as well as my old one, but it was rapidly becoming a familiar weight. At first I’d decided it was okay to wear as long as I shot only at supernatural bad guys who were already shooting at me. Lately, I’d had to broaden that definition to anytime my life was in danger. I was currently leaning toward a slightly more comprehensive rule somewhere between proactive self-defense and the-bastards-had-it-coming, which, if I survived long enough, I intended to blame on my deranged partner rubbing off on me. ↗

— Karen Chance

#humor #karen-chance-sarcasm #humor

إن الحياة هي عادة سيئة يرتكبها الميت كل يوم! ↗

— إبراهيم الزنيدي

#humor #life #sarcasm #death