#sarcasm

You see, that is the sad, sorry, terrible thing about sarcasm. It's really funny. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#sarcasm #funny

Oh, for the love of God. There is no agent more agent than you. I swear you have pin-striped ties encrypted into your DNA. When you die, the coffin is going to read Property of the FBI. ↗

— Lisa Gardner

#humor #sarcasm #love

In 1803, President Jefferson oversaw the purchase of this land from the French for $15 million. It doesn't sound like much for an area three times the size of France itself but given that they'd stolen it from the Native Americans in the first place, I suppose they couldn't grumble. Once some debts had been wiped and estate agents had taken their commission, Napoleon's France ended up pocketing a little more than $8 million. Which is about how much it cost Pepsi Cola to secure the services of Britney Spears. Times have changed. ↗

— Dave Gorman

#humor #sarcasm #change

Most of the people you read about being turned meet vamps in clubs or over the Internet...Ew, did you...?" "Yes, I met a vampire on the Internet, went to his evil love den, and let him turn me, because I'm that brainless. ↗

— Molly Harper

#internet #jane-jameson #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs #sarcasm

Don’t make me climb across this desk and slap you, because I will. ↗

— H.M. Ward

#fight #humor #love #sarcasm #love

Most wives fuck their husbands, just to ensure financial support. Marriage is just a form of legalized prostitution, when you really thought about it. ↗

— K. Syrah

#witty #marriage

What tale do you like best to hear?' 'Oh, I have not much choice! They generally run on the same theme - courtship; and promise to end in the same catastrophe - marriage. ↗

— Charlotte Brontë

#courtship #discord #disharmony #empowerment #gender

Your quick ‘no’ is because I refused to say ‘yes’ to sex. They say men think with their dicks. I hope you do not run Easton with your— ↗

— Avery Aster

#erotica-romance #sarcasm-humor #men

I didn’t intend it to come out sarcastically, but I guess that’s just where my tone of voice automatically goes these days. ↗

— M.A. George

#sarcasm #sarcastic-humor #humor

Oh, that's great. That way, when things have quieted down, and we come up for air, or money, or re-supply, we'll get a nice explosive package from him that says "so nice to see you again" in a way that only multi-megaton yields can. -Captain Tagon ↗

— Howard Tayler

#explosives #humour #mercenaries #sarcasm #money