#sarcasm

Jace said that the cast of Gilligan's Island could do something anatomically unlikely with themselves. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny #gilligan-s-island #jace #laugh #mortal-instruments

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#control-freaks #control-issues #cynic #cynical #cynical-humor

You can give me detention. Oh, wait, that's right...you aren't the boss of me. So I guess you can just bite me. -Dean ↗

— Jeff Mariotte

#humor #sarcasm #science-fiction #humor

Does the Pope love Jesus? ↗

— Dana Marie Bell

#humor

It was stealing her breath, imbecile. Go get a towel." -Christophe, Strange Angels by Lili St. Crow ↗

— Lilith Saintcrow

#sarcasm #humor

Yeah, I was just curious. I concentrated on my footsteps. Yeah, well, next time you think about stepping into rock concerts you might want to bring a bodyguard. I stopped and turned around. I brought my hands to my hips, a bit offended. What is that supposed to mean? He dropped the end of the bat into the sand. It means your small. ↗

— Holly Hood

#love #sarcasm #love

I don't understand German myself. I learned it at school, but forgot every word of it two years after I had left, and have felt much better ever since. ↗

— Jerome K. Jerome

#german #humor #sarcasm #men

But the people only talked about how ugly her face looked. No one even bothered to mention what a sweet, kindhearted girl she was. Now, don’t be amazed! That is just the nature of humans, to notice the one flaw among a person’s ten good qualities. ↗

— Janaki Sooriyarachchi

#irony #sarcasm #nature

Well, it just figures," Younger told him, like a man explaining his religion. ↗

— Richard Stark

#sarcasm #religion

You are in good shape for a dead man. ↗

— Mario Stinger

#sarcasm #nature