#sarcasm

We all make mistakes. Luckily for us, there are very few mistakes that cant be solved with a suitable application of either lipstick or hand grenades" - Frances Brown ↗

— Seanan McGuire

#humor

Kaitlyn froze and then said in a low tone, "That'd better be your gun." "Why yes, I always pack my gun where it'll blow my balls off."[Landon] ↗

— Patrice Michelle

#sarcasm #humor

Alessa looked at Brennus giving him a smirk. “Brennus.” “Alessa.” “Still think that you are the God’s gift to all faeries?” “Still trying to convince yourself that I am not?” Brennus responded smirking arrogantly and leaning back in his chair. ↗

— B.C. Morin

#sarcasm #humor

What is your collective GPA for this year?” “Not as high as I'd like it to be.” Freud steepled his fingers in front of his mouth. “What about your parents?” “I don't know. They haven't been in school for a while. ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#interrogation #sarcasm #humor

How touching. I think I'm gonna throw up. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#sarcasm-humor #humor

She never saw the point of making fun of strangers – how could you possibly know enough about them to hit below the belt? ↗

— Daniel Marks

#humorous-quotations #sarcasm #humor

Do you really think that God in his heaven with all the angels, there from the beginning of time and looking towards the day of judgement day, really looks down on all the world and see's you and little harry and says 'whatever you choose to do is my will?' "Yes i do." she says uncertainly. ↗

— Philippa Gregory

#ignorance #sarcasm-humor #humor

Thomas: Is it [my brain] fixed? Brenda: It worked, judging from the fact that you're not trying to kill us anymore... ↗

— James Dashner

#humor #maze-runner #mind-control #sarcasm #sci-fi

It's Thursday afternoon, and we have sports. These are the choices for the girls: watching an invitational cricket game; studying in one of the classrooms; or watching the senior rugby league. As you can imagine, I'm torn. ↗

— Melina Marchetta

#sports #imagination

Come on, there's no one there. You want coffee?" Tess asked. "Yeah, sure, why not? I'm only on the brink of a nervous breakdown. I don't imagine why caffeine wouldn't help this situation. ↗

— Frankie Rose

#sarcasm #humor