#sarcasm

You are your mother's trueborn son of Lannister." "Am I?" the dwarf replied, sardonic. "Do tell my lord father. My mother died birthing me, and he's never been sure." "I don't even know who my mother was," Jon said. "Some woman, no doubt. Most of them are." He favored Jon with a rueful grin. "Remember this, boy. All dwarfs may be bastards, yet not all bastards need be dwarfs." And with that he turned and sauntered back into the feast, whistling a tune. When he opened the door, the light from within threw his shadow clear across the yard, and for just a moment Tyrion Lannister stood tall as a king. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#dwarfs #humor #jon-snow #king #sarcasm

Ok, let me just write that down for you since you seem to think I'm you personal assistant," Sally responded, her tone clipped. "You ever noticed how assistant starts with ass? Do you think that's a coincidence?" Jen shrugged her shoulders as she raised her eyebrows at Sally. ↗

— Quinn Loftis

#humor

Do you really think that God in his heaven with all the angels, there from the beginning of time and looking towards the day of judgement day, really looks down on all the world and see's you and little harry and says 'whatever you choose to do is my will?' "Yes i do." she says uncertainly. ↗

— Philippa Gregory

#ignorance #sarcasm-humor #humor

Here she is,” her mum said, cooing at the baby, “my special girl.” “Oh, cheers,” Valkyrie said, rolling her eyes. ↗

— Derek Landy

#sarcasm #special #death

I sighed and deleted the message, imagining the dirty clothes multiplying like rabbits, because that’s what they do when I’m not around. ↗

— Alex Owens

#motherhood #sarcasm #imagination

Edna restored the toffee to the centre of her tongue and sucking pleasurably, resumed her typing of Naked Love by Armand Levine. Its painstaking eroticism left her uninterested--as indeed it did most of Mr. Levine's readers, in spite of his efforts. He was a notable example of the fact that nothing can be duller than dull pornography. ↗

— Agatha Christie

#humour #pornography #sarcasm #love

Chapter Twenty-Eight: Was she on some sort of Candid Camera version of This is Your Sucky Love Life? ↗

— Nicki Elson

#love #romance #sarcasm #love

Give me a few minutes.” “You have time.” He sat in the grass. “Are you just going to sit there and watch me?” “Yes. Watching pretty peasant girls is what we poor little rich boys do best.” “Peasant?” He shrugged. “You started the name calling. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#flirting #sarcasm #rich

If you are going to do that, would you mind not jostling the bed so much?' came a sarcastic voice near the head board. 'Perhaps you could roll around on the floor. ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#fooling-around #grimalkin #sarcasm #voice

Yes. Yes I am. I am a completely demented misogynist. ↗

— Bret Easton Ellis

#sarcasm