#sarcasm

Does Hallmark make a “Sorry I tried to drink your blood and touched you in a vaguely inappropriate manner” card? I settled for “How much do you remember? ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #humor #sarcasm #vampires #funny

Not that I knew who you were until last month. But now that I've got you, I'm not letting you go." "You're not?" Blake stared at her in irritated confusion. What was her game? "Do you think I'm an idiot?" he spat out. "No," she said. "I've just escaped from a den of idiots, so I'm well familiar with the breed, and you're something else entirely. I am, however, hoping you're not a terribly good shot. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#idiocy #romance #sarcasm #humor

Kishan stretched out his hand and touched and earring lightly. His rakish pirate about-to-make-off-with-your-woman-and-what-do-you-think-you're-gonna-do-about-it look melted away to a soft smile that turned up the corner of his mouth. ↗

— Colleen Houck

#sarcasm #humor

I'm working from the assumption it's going to go horribly wrong. If we get out of here with limbs intact and no aspen slivers in uncomfortable places, we're calling it a win." Merit/Jonah ↗

— Chloe Neill

#sarcasm #humor

You are a sick, sick man,” I told him. “Thank you,” Ben replied, looking modest. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#humor #mercy-thompson #sarcasm #silver-borne #humor

Time for the likeliest story since Mary told Joseph it was God’s. ↗

— Val McDermid

#sarcasm #humor

الأدباء ينتحرون دائما في النهاية. رجال التحريات يعرفون هذا. لكنهم كذلك يعرفون أن الأدباء لا يبذلون جهدا في إخفاء جثثهم بعد الإنتحار. إنهم مهملون ويتركون جثثهم بأمخاخهاالمتفجرة وشرايينها المقطوعة في أي مكان، كأن باقي البشر خدمٌ لهم. إنهم مغرورون كذلك. ↗

— أحمد خالد توفيق

#sarcasm #humor

How many kids are in the Graveyard?" "A bunch." "Who sends your supplies?" "George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget." "How often do you receive new arrivals?" "About as often as you beat your wife. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#humorous #risa-ward #sarcasm #sarcastic #snark

I’m not bipolar, I’ve just had a bipolar life foisted upon me. ↗

— Daniel O'Malley

#humor #sarcasm #scifi #humor

How does knowing 'things could be worse' than what I already deem is awful make me feel any better? You mean I could sink even lower? Oh joy! ↗

— Richelle E. Goodrich

#pessimism #richelle #richelle-goodrich #sarcasm #sarcasm-humor