#si

I've got the Mark of Cain," said Simon. "That means nothing can kill me, right?" "You can kill yourself," Magnus said, somewhat unhelpfully. "As far as I know, inanimate objects can accidentally kill you. So if you were planning on teaching yourself the lambada on a greased platform over a pit full of knives, I wouldn't." "There goes my Saturday. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-lost-souls #funny #humor #lambada #magnus-bane

The truth is like a nipple: the more you twist it, the more somebody is going to get hurt. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#nipple #simile #truth #funny

If two heads are better than one, then what about double chins? On that note, I will help myself to seconds. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#obesity #funny

I felt like an animal, and animals don’t know sin, do they? ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#cool #desire #erotic #erotica #funny

I'm glad you think this is funny." "You're not happy to see me, then?" Jace asked. "I have to say, I'm surprised. I've always been told my presence brightened up any room. One might think that went doubly for dank underground cells. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#quip #simon-lewis #funny

Flowers lead to books, which lead to thinking and not thinking and then more flowers and music, music. Then many more flowers and many more books. ↗

— Maira Kalman

#music

When a business group tells us there is nothing wrong with the environment, naturally they may have good arguments, but we are also sceptical, because we know that they have an interest in these things. ↗

— Bjorn Lomborg

#because #business #environment #good #group

Love one person at a time, that’s the motto I’ll try to get my clones to live by. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#clones #funny #humor #love #motto

La cucaracha, La cucaracha, Ya no puede caminar, porque no tiene, porque le falta, I don't know the rest, la la la la! ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#carlos-fuentes #funny #perfect-chemistry #rules-of-attraction #simone-elkeles

I'm a little bit naked, but that's okay. ↗

— Lady Gaga

#funny #gaga #germanotta #hilarious #interview