#sm

Embrace the transcending power of a hug, the healing ability of a friendly smile, and accept the gift of a helping hand. ↗

— Martin Suarez

#healing #help #helping-hand #helping-others #hug

She says he says, but she could be lying to me, and he could be lying to her, so I can’t believe her, even if I could believe her.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#believe #bizarre #funny #honest #honesty

I will never buy a fish tank, because I don't believe in supporting the funding of aquatic war machines. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fish-tank #funny #nonsense #pacifism #funny

I smiled, and you winked. I think. Perhaps you merely blink with one eye at a time. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #smile #wink #funny

I was a militant smoker, and in my case, I think I particularly used smoking because what I felt was a kind of politically correct big brother assault on smoking. ↗

— Joe Eszterhas

#because #big #big brother #brother #case

There are no crowds out there demanding to see smoking scenes in movies. ↗

— Joe Eszterhas

#demanding #movies #out #scenes #see

Flowers and fear are a lot alike. For one, flowers and fear have a distinct smell, and two, I’m currently trying to grow both in my garden. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#flowers #funny #grow #smell #funny

I wanted to have premarital sex with a midget, but I was afraid the ringmaster would banish me for unlawful carnival knowledge. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #sex #funny

The nice thing about being an empty-headed pessimist is that that your glass is only half air. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #pessimism #funny

Did you know it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile? I know, because yesterday was in a bad mood, and I guess I must have frowned too much because this morning I woke up with a torn groin muscle. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#frown #funny #groin #smile #funny