#sneeze

Be able to sneeze without sounding ridiculous. That means neither stifling yourself or spraying your immediate vicinity. ↗

— Marilyn vos Savant

#immediate #means #neither #ridiculous #sneeze

(Responding to a sneeze from the audience) Who exploded? ↗

— Victor Borge

#funny #humor #humorous #sneeze #victor

I seem to be allergic to whatever that terrible smell is," said Gateman when the urge to sneeze had finally subsided. "What terrible smell?" "The air," said Gateman. "It smells...different." "That's called oxygen," said Professor Boxley. "Freh air. No cars, no buses, no factories; just pure, clean oxygen. ↗

— Cuthbert Soup

#allergy #funny #oxygen #sneeze #funny

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze? ↗

— Jean Kerr

#cup #do you know #feel #full #hand

They say a sneeze is 1/10th of an orgasm. Perhaps that’s why it takes me 18 seconds to sneeze. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#orgasm #sneeze #funny

When God sneezed, I didn't know what to say. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#i #know #say #sneezed

Once, when a British Prime Minister sneezed, men half a world away would blow their noses. Now when a British Prime Minister sneezes nobody else will even say 'Bless You'. ↗

— Bernard Levin

#bless #blow #british #else #even

It used to be said that when the U.S. sneezed, the world caught a cold. The opposite is equally true today. ↗

— Lawrence Summers

#cold #equally #opposite #said #sneezed

I held in the sneeze, though, by thinking of the word cucumber. It always works. ↗

— Merrie Haskell

#sneeze #funny

I grew up with an impatience with the anti-scientific. So I'm a bit miffed with our current love affair with all things Eastern. If I sneeze on the set, 40 people hand me echinacea. But I'd no sooner take that than eat a pencil. Maybe that's why I took up boxing. It's my response to men in white pajamas feeling each other's chi. ↗

— Hugh Laurie

#all things #bit #boxing #chi #current