#ss

You know what Marshall needs to do. He needs to stop being sad. When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead. True story. ↗

— Barney Stinson

#happiness #humor #inspirational #sadness #humor

So the captain, the first officer and the ship's doctor and sometimes the engineer all beam down to a planet. Together." "The entire complement of the senior officers?" Billy nodded "And who has the command of the ship?" "I don't know. Junior officers I guess." "If they worked for me I would have them court-martialed. That sounds like a dereliction of duty." "I know. I know. I always thought it odd myself. But that's not the point." "What is the point?" "They're usually accompanied by a guy in the red shirt. Always a crew member you've never seen before. And as soon as you see the shirt, you know he's going to die. ↗

— Michael Scott

#red-shirts #star-trek #the-enchantress #humor

From my earliest years I had always wanted to be a writer. It was not that I had any particular message for humanity. I am still plugging away and not the ghost of one so far, so it begins to look as though, unless I suddenly hit mid-season form in my eighties, humanity will remain a message short. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #mission #pg-wodehouse #writing #humor

A stupid person can make only certain, limited types of errors; the mistakes open to a clever fellow are far broader. But to the one who knows how smart he is compared to everyone else, the possibilities for true idiocy are boundless. ↗

— Steven Brust

#smartass #smartness #stupid #humor

It was not that he was feckless, more that he had simply not been around the day they handed out feck. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humorous #wordplay #humor

From where I’m sitting, I AM the centre of the Universe! ↗

— Sebastyne Young

#narcissism #self-centered #humor

What New England is, is a state of mind, a place where dry humor and perpetual disappointment blend to produce an ironic pessimism that folks from away find most perplexing ↗

— Willem Lange

#dry-humor #humor #new-england #perplexing #pessimism

When you feel like throwing rocks, make sure they're ones no one can throw back. ↗

— Rebecca McKinsey

#boldness #humor #words #wordsmithing #humor

No human ever became interesting by not failing. The more you fail and recover and improve, the better you are as a person. Ever meet someone who’s ALWAYS had EVERYTHING work out for them with ZERO struggle? They usually have the depth of a puddle. Or they don’t exist. ↗

— Chris Hardwick

#humor #life #nerdist #success #humor

It stands to reason that anyone who learns to live well will die well. The skills are the same: being present in the moment, and humble, and brave, and keeping a sense of humor. (361) ↗

— Victoria Moran

#dying #humility #humor #living #mindfulness