#stabbed

Love is like wearing all red to a funeral, out of respect for the fact that the recently deceased got stabbed 17 times by a cherry Kool-Aid flavored icicle. I'd also recommend bringing your own boom box blasting out "Ice Ice Baby" as you dance down the aisle of the church.
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— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dancing #death #fact #funeral #funny

I've been stabbed lately with life. ↗

— Pepper Phillips

#stabbed-my-heart #life

I called to tell her I loved her, which was smart, because if I’d have done it in person, I’d have caught her with another man. I don’t care if he was my clone, it isn’t right and it pisses me off. I was backstabbed by myself.
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— Jarod Kintz

#cheating #clone #love #smart #love

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. ↗

— Robert Benchley

#funny #humor #opera #stabbed #funny