#t

Worst case I'll bring Rain Man here. I'll tell him it's a date. Aha, so he's cute, then? Tasty. And smart. Can't beat that witha stick. ↗

— Alex Adams

#zoey #dating

Love gives you eyes. ↗

— Peter Kreeft

#christianity #eyes #inspirational #jesus-shock #love

I won't play for a penny less than fifteen hundred dollars. ↗

— Honus Wagner

#fifteen #hundred #i #less #penny

When I told my mother that I wanted to be an actress, she said, you can't live here and do that, and so I moved out. I was determined to prove her wrong because she was so sure that I was going to go astray. And that's the juice that kept me going. ↗

— Cicely Tyson

#astray #because #determined #go #going

Between an uncontrolled escalation and passivity, there is a demanding road of responsibility that we must follow. ↗

— Dominique de Villepin

#demanding #escalation #follow #must #passivity

A brick could be used as a key to unlock a door disguised as a brick wall. The security in the lock lies not with a one-of-a-kind key, but with a key that looks like hundreds of other potential keys that make up the door.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick has eight edges and six sides. That’s nearly as many sides as a politician takes when discussing a binary issue.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

Eight people show up. The emcee is warm, friendly, and about as funny as Shoah. I take the stage to the sound of, my hand to God, one person clapping once and only once, and then I start into my act. ↗

— Patton Oswalt

#hand-to-god #patton-oswalt #shoah #stand-up #funny

He was all over me like brown rice! ↗

— L'Poni Baldwin

#gay-dragons #humor #stereotypes #funny

You know that passage in the Bible that says, “And the meek shall inherit the Earth”? Always wondered if that was mistranslated. Perhaps it actually says, “And the geek shall inherit the Earth. ↗

— Neil deGrasse Tyson

#funny #geek #meek #quote #funny