#t

The most temptation I'd experienced had been with Tomas, the Senate's spy who had been feeding off me without permission, and Mircea, who was probably plotting some nefarious scheme. I have no taste in men. ↗

— Karen Chance

#fiction #humor #romance #supernatural #vampire

Integrity is a bugger, it really is. Lying can get you into difficulties, but to really wind up in the crappers try telling nothing but the truth. ↗

— David Mitchell

#lying #truth #humor

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #writing #funny

Literary detection and firearms don't really go hand in hand; pen mighter than the sword and so forth. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#guns #humor #literature #humor

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy offers this definition of the word "Infinite". Infinite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, "wow, that's big", time. Infinity is just so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#douglas-adams #humor #humor

You are a sad, sad little man and you have my pity. — Buzz Lightyear ↗

— Cathy East Dubowski

#pity #humor

If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question? ↗

— Lily Tomlin

#humor

Unrequited love is so boring. Weeping under a blue-black sky is for suckers or maniacs. ↗

— Alice Hoffman

#romance #unrequited-love #humor

Oh, I'm so glad we know what it's called, that's a great help," snarled Ron, leaning back, trying to stop the plant from curling around his neck. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#plant #ron-weasley #humor

Nothing goes so well with a hot fire and buttered crumpets as a wet day without and a good dose of comfortable horrors within. The heavier the lashing of the rain and the ghastlier the details, the better the flavour seems to be. ↗

— Dorothy L. Sayers

#crime #humor #irony #mysteries #humor