#t

She was my friend because she was kind and funny but she had a face like two oysters fused together in a Star Trek matter transporter accident. ↗

— Andrew S. Hinkinson

#insult #looks #funny

Maybe I'd think that, too, Caesar," says Petta bitterly, "if it weren't for the baby." There. He's done it again. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#katniss

There’s a group that calls itself the Sarmy-or Sylar’s Army- and it’s dedicated to the support of my character, and they don’t like it when he’s disparaged. Their slogan is “Every villain needs a legion of evil supporters.” But what’s funny is they do great charity work. It’s never bad to have an army. ↗

— Zachary Quinto

#sylar #sylar-s-army #zachary-quinto #funny

Jocko likes salty, Jocko likes sweet, but never bring Jocko any hot sauce, like with jalapenos, because it makes Jocko squirt funny-smelling stuff out his ears. ↗

— Dean Koontz

#jocko #salty #sweet #funny

And since when is stealing people's possessions the call of God? you are all hypocrites who have suddenly come into power, and you don't know how to handle it ↗

— Dalia Sofer

#funny #insult #septembers-of-shiraz #funny

First you jump off the cliff and build your wings on the way down. ↗

— Ray Bradbury

#inspirational

I started to crawl off; then I remembered my leftover pizza, and I peeled off the salami, pepperoni, and anchovies and placed them on the CD tray (whicn no one used these days with flash drives around)on Boone's computer. I hit the close button and watched the smelly part of my delicious dinner slide away. Boone would have a great time wondering 'where's that smell coming from? ↗

— Duffy Brown

#comedy #funny #humor #mystery #pizza

How do you know?” “Well, I don’t, I’m making this up, but I bet I’m right. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#cute #funny #humour #romance #romantic

You know it feels good. I can hardly geta…I don’t even…” There was something amusing about watching him trying to form a coherent sen-tence. Amusing, but arousing at the sametime. ↗

— Charlotte Stein

#romantic #funny

Gomst's mouth framed a 'no', but every other muscle in him said 'yes'. You'd think priests would be better liars, what with their jobs and all. ↗

— Mark Lawrence

#humour #liars #lie #priests #funny