#t

The behavior of any bureaucratic organization can best be understood by assuming that it is controlled by a secret cabal of its enemies. ↗

— Robert Conquest

#funny #management #funny

Leo,” Hazel gasped, “I can’t—my arms—” “Hazel,” he said. “Do you trust me?” “No!” “Me neither,” Leo admitted. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #leo-i-love-you-ok #lol #trust #funny

When she absently worried her bottom lip with one of her adorable little fangs, he sighed. The Enemy of Old fucking sighed. Dear gods, it’d finally happened to him. Happiness. Then his own fangs sharpened.I will kill anyone who tries to take this feeling away from me. ↗

— Kresley Cole

#funny #happiness #immortals-after-dark #kresley-cole #lothaire

The Friday before winter break, my mom packed me an overnight bag and a few deadly weapons and took me to a new boarding school. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#fantasy #fiction #funny #intense #funny

The dark prince sat astride his black steed, his sable cape flowing behind him. A golden circlet bound his blond locks, his handsome face was cold with the rage of battle, and... "And his arm looked like an eggplant," Clary muttered to herself in exasperation. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#funny #mortal-instruments #simon-lewis #funny

I have studied the astrological musings of the mystics, and I can conclude one thing: of all things cosmic, bowling is the best. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bowling #cosmic #funny #musings #mystic

This is America. We’re entitled to our opinions.” “Wrong. This is Texas. And my opinion is the only one that counts. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#arrogant #call-me-irresistible #funny #humour #sep

It’s funny. I met a man once who did a lot of mountain climbing. I asked him which was harder, ascending or descending? He said without a doubt descending, because ascending you were so focused on reaching the top, you avoided mistakes. The backside of a mountain is a fight against human nature,” he said. “You have to care as much about yourself on the way down as you did on the way up. ↗

— Mitch Albom

#funny

She already had a headache-she didn't want to add 'get tortured' to today's to-do list. ↗

— C.C. Hunter

#funny #funny

Come on," I said, taking his hand. Clutching the afghan with the other hand, he trailed down the hall after me, a snow white giant in tiny red underwear. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#funny #sookie-stackhouse #true-blood #funny