#t

I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter. ↗

— Steven Wright

#i #last #last night #letter #me

If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back? ↗

— Steven Wright

#heat #saw #wave #would #you

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff. ↗

— Steven Wright

#box #make #out #plane #stuff

Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it. ↗

— Steven Wright

#get #how #i #irons #notice

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? ↗

— Steven Wright

#joke #laughs #nobody #tell #you

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. ↗

— Steven Wright

#die #fiction #i #leaving #science

In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number. ↗

— Steven Wright

#considered #got #i #into #long

It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature. ↗

— Steven Wright

#difference #make #make a difference #room #room temperature

My neighbor has a circular driveway... he can't get out. ↗

— Steven Wright

#driveway #get #neighbor #out

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. ↗

— Steven Wright

#had #i #out #prescription #ran