#the

Love is like a big juicy steak. You bite into it, enjoy it, then regret the calories you gained, when you're standin on your scale the next morning. See,I don't eat steak. I'm a vegetarian. ↗

— Euphoria Godsent

#cold-hearted #cold-hearted-people #diva #euphoria-godsent #heart-breaker

All knots that lovers tie Are tied to sever. Here shall your sweetheart lie, Untrue for ever. ↗

— A.E. Housman

#lovers #sweetheart #untrue #love

Waiters are the help, dear. It's like falling in love with a blender! ↗

— Daniel Nayeri

#funny #lucy-s-mom #funny

Liebe auf den ersten Blick existierte. Vielleicht nicht unbedingt zwischen Männern und Frauen. Aber definitiv zwischen Frauen und ganz bestimmten Klamotten. Ich sah es auf den ersten Blick – dieses Kleid und ich, wir waren füreinander geschaffen. ↗

— Emilia Polo

#funny-quotes #women #funny

Bad relationships are not lucrative at all. There is far more at stake in good relationships. Good relationships keep divorces protracted, psychologists employed, and children in jail where they belong. Without them society would collapse! ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #marriage #relationships #society #therapy

You can't just call the Praetor. It's not like 1-800-WEREWOLF. ↗

— - Jordan Kyle Cassandra Clare

#humour #jordan-kyle #the-mortal-instruments #the-mortal-instruments-series #funny

Gone are the days when girls used to cook like their mothers and boys used to dress like their fathers. Now girls drink like their fathers and boys dress like their mothers. ↗

— Habeeb Akande

#boys #clothes #clothing #cook #dress

D.B. asked me what I thought about all this stuff I just finished telling you about. I didn't know what the hell to say. If you want to know the truth, I don't know what I think about it. I'm sorry I told so many people about it. All I know about it is, I sort of miss everybody I told about. Even old Stradlater and Ackley, for instance. I think I even miss that goddam Maurice. It's funny. Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody. ↗

— J.D. Salinger

#ending-lines #holden-caulfield #funny

I am a greaser," Sodapop chanted. "I am a JD and a hood. I blacken the name of our fair city. I beat up people. I rob gas stations. I am a menace to society. Man, do I have fun!" "Greaser...greaser...greaser..."Steve singsonged. "O, victim of enviornment, underprivelaged, rotton no-count hood!" Juvenile delinquent, you're no good!" Darry shouted. Get thee hence, white trash," Two-Bit said in asnobbish voice. "I am a Soc. I am the privelaged and the well-dressed. I throw beer blasts, drive fancy cars, break windows at fancy parties." And what do you do for fun?" I inquired in a serious, awed voice. I jump greasers!" Two-Bit screamed, and did a cartwheel. ↗

— S.E. Hinton

#soc #the-outsiders #breaking-up

Is is, therefore, not an exaggeration to say that if the city of New York were suddenly replaced by a ball of fire, some significant percentage of the American population would see a silver-lining in the subsequent mushroom cloud, as it would suggest to them that the best thing that is ever going to happen was about to happen: the return of Christ. It should be blindingly obvious that beliefs of this sort will do little to help us create a durable future for ourselves - socially, economically, environmentally, or geopolitically. Imagine the consequences if any significant component of the US government actually believed that the world was about to end and that its ending would be glorious. The fact that nearly half of the American population apparently believes this, purely on the basis of religion dogma, should be considered a moral and intellectual emergency. ↗

— Sam Harris

#imagination