#toilet

We were called The Toilets originally - we were flushed with success. ↗

— Mike Peters

#flushed #originally #success #toilets #were

The tiny space, the toilet, two hundred strangers just a few inches away, it's so exciting, the lack of room to maneuver, it helps if you're double-jointed. Use your imagination. Some creativity and a few simple stretching exercises and you can be knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door. You'll be amazed how time flies. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humorous #sex #humor

As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne. ↗

— Dan Brown

#dan-brown #funny #humor #robert-langdon #toilet

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor #toilet-tissue #humor

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#consistently #fall #get #go #leave

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. ↗

— Rod Serling

#both #dancing #difficult #documentary #every

Tonight the city is full of morgues, and all the toilets are overflowing. There's shopping malls coming out of the walls, as we walk out among the manure. That's why I pay no mind. ↗

— Beck

#city #coming #full #i #malls

Yup, the toilet is my best friend before a show. ↗

— Eric Carr

#best #best friend #friend #show #toilet

I think the bottom line for me and for Newsweek is that there were a lot of - we did retract this specific matter about the Koran and the toilet for the reasons that you just cited. ↗

— Michael Isikoff

#bottom #bottom line #cited #did #i

In the period where I had to live the life of a citizen - a life where, like everybody else, I did tons of laundry and cleaned toilet bowls, changed hundreds of diapers and nursed children - I learned a lot. ↗

— Patti Smith

#changed #children #citizen #cleaned #diapers