#toilet

We found the bathrooms, which were labeled 'Aliens' and 'Femaliens.' 'Finally,' I said to J.Lo. 'Here's a bathroom you're allowed to use. ↗

— Adam Rex

#humor #toilet #humor

the more you stared up crap the more it's going to smell (/) ↗

— Mary Sumner

#drama #gossip #poop-in-toilets #trouble #gossip

The tiny space, the toilet, two hundred strangers just a few inches away, it's so exciting, the lack of room to maneuver, it helps if you're double-jointed. Use your imagination. Some creativity and a few simple stretching exercises and you can be knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door. You'll be amazed how time flies. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humorous #sex #humor

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor #toilet-tissue #humor

I walk into rooms and I don't know why I'm there. I'm like, 'Why am I standing in front of the toilet now?' ↗

— Matthew Broderick

#front #i #into #know #like

It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline. ↗

— George Lindsey

#paper #poor #saw #tell #toilet

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#consistently #fall #get #go #leave