#toilet

Every time I went on the radio, I would take the crummiest radio station, the station that was like a toilet bowl. I would go on there and build up the ratings, so you couldn't do any worse. ↗

— Howard Stern

#bowl #build #every #every time #go

We were called The Toilets originally - we were flushed with success. ↗

— Mike Peters

#flushed #originally #success #toilets #were

the more you stared up crap the more it's going to smell (/) ↗

— Mary Sumner

#drama #gossip #poop-in-toilets #trouble #gossip

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor #toilet-tissue #humor

I walk into rooms and I don't know why I'm there. I'm like, 'Why am I standing in front of the toilet now?' ↗

— Matthew Broderick

#front #i #into #know #like

It's not hard to tell we was poor - when you saw the toilet paper dryin' on the clothesline. ↗

— George Lindsey

#paper #poor #saw #tell #toilet

This work is the link between my Dear Natalie piece and my upcoming Agatha work. It bridges that lapse in time and shows how my thinking has changed. It shows me telling a story through the surreal and trying to use thought fragments alone to show a tortured existence. This piece was written after the Dear Natalies and before the Agatha mystery, but it is meant to be read after you’ve already read both. This book is a bridge between two books, which would make it a bridge between two bridges. That’s strange, but I’ve seen stranger. Like the time I woke up in a fish tank, having morphed into a goldfish during my sleep. I still fear the sound of a flushing toilet, and since then I refuse to let myself fall asleep while wearing flippers. This book is 3,088 words of pure nonsense, strung together like pearls hurled at bacon. Yum! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bacon #biograhy #book-bio #books #bridge