#toilet

I have a very silly sense of humor. I've never laughed harder in my entire life than seeing someone with toilet paper stuck on the bottom of their shoe. ↗

— Paula Poundstone

#entire #entire life #harder #humor #i

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet. ↗

— Alan King

#fifteen #last #live #longer #spend

We were called The Toilets originally - we were flushed with success. ↗

— Mike Peters

#flushed #originally #success #toilets #were

The tiny space, the toilet, two hundred strangers just a few inches away, it's so exciting, the lack of room to maneuver, it helps if you're double-jointed. Use your imagination. Some creativity and a few simple stretching exercises and you can be knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door. You'll be amazed how time flies. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humorous #sex #humor

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#consistently #fall #get #go #leave

The flush toilet, more than any single invention, has 'civilized' us in a way that religion and law could never accomplish. ↗

— Thomas Lynch

#civilized #toilet #life

I'm shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I won't sit on a toilet seat on a plane. I'm certainly not going to go on somebody's lawn. Could you imagine, in a cocktail dress? ↗

— Farrah Fawcett

#certainly #cocktail #could #days #dress

I think the bottom line for me and for Newsweek is that there were a lot of - we did retract this specific matter about the Koran and the toilet for the reasons that you just cited. ↗

— Michael Isikoff

#bottom #bottom line #cited #did #i

I want to write a poem about "Truth," "Honor," "Dignity," and whether the toilet paper should roll over or under when you pull on it. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#honor #life #poem #toilet-paper #truth

Staying with detractors is like sleeping in a room located just behind the public toilet. You will never feel comfortable until you relocate. ↗

— Israelmore Ayivor

#change-your-life #comfortable #detractors #dislike #enemies