#toilet

The tiny space, the toilet, two hundred strangers just a few inches away, it's so exciting, the lack of room to maneuver, it helps if you're double-jointed. Use your imagination. Some creativity and a few simple stretching exercises and you can be knock, knock, knockin' on heaven's door. You'll be amazed how time flies. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#humorous #sex #humor

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor #toilet-tissue #humor

The flush toilet, more than any single invention, has 'civilized' us in a way that religion and law could never accomplish. ↗

— Thomas Lynch

#civilized #toilet #life

Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money. ↗

— Joey Bishop

#cash register #find #gas #gas station #go

Most people in America want an easy read. I call it McFiction - books which pass right through you without you even digesting them. I don't mean a book that has two-syllable words. I mean chapters you can read in a toilet break. Happy endings. We are more of a TV culture. ↗

— Jodi Picoult

#book #books #break #call #chapters

Well, I don't use the toilet much to pee in. I almost always pee in the yard or the garden, because I like to pee on my estate. ↗

— Iggy Pop

#always #because #estate #garden #i

NASA asked me to create meals for the space shuttle. Thai chicken was the favorite. I flew in a fake space shuttle, but I have no desire to go into space after seeing the toilet. ↗

— Rachael Ray

#asked #chicken #create #desire #fake

I was the only westerner to succeed in a place that's like a toilet, and you always come out of a toilet with a smell. ↗

— David Reuben

#come #i #like #only #out

I'd find it demeaning to be cleaning toilets. ↗

— Jack Kevorkian

#demeaning #find #i #toilets

You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet. ↗

— Alan King

#fifteen #last #live #longer #spend