#toilet

Spending one’s last moments prostrated before the toilet is the supreme act of repentance. It allows one to relieve a heavy inner burden. ↗

— Bauvard

#confession #funny #humor #prostration #toilet

I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows. ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor #toilet-tissue #humor

I walk into rooms and I don't know why I'm there. I'm like, 'Why am I standing in front of the toilet now?' ↗

— Matthew Broderick

#front #i #into #know #like

Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in. ↗

— Rita Rudner

#consistently #fall #get #go #leave

I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger. ↗

— Jonny Wilkinson

#burger #case #even #fast-food #go

If I owned a house that had a bathroom with no toilet, only a urinal, I’d call that the number one room, and I could easily both describe it and point to it with one finger. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #toilet #urinal #funny

It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper. ↗

— Rod Serling

#both #dancing #difficult #documentary #every

The flush toilet, more than any single invention, has 'civilized' us in a way that religion and law could never accomplish. ↗

— Thomas Lynch

#civilized #toilet #life

Yup, the toilet is my best friend before a show. ↗

— Eric Carr

#best #best friend #friend #show #toilet

In the period where I had to live the life of a citizen - a life where, like everybody else, I did tons of laundry and cleaned toilet bowls, changed hundreds of diapers and nursed children - I learned a lot. ↗

— Patti Smith

#changed #children #citizen #cleaned #diapers