#toilet

I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger. ↗

— Jonny Wilkinson

#burger #case #even #fast-food #go

When somebody follows you 20 blocks to the pharmacy, where they watch you buy toilet paper, you know your life has changed. ↗

— Jennifer Aniston

#buy #changed #follows #know #life

I'm shy. I can go on a trip for days and not go because I won't sit on a toilet seat on a plane. I'm certainly not going to go on somebody's lawn. Could you imagine, in a cocktail dress? ↗

— Farrah Fawcett

#certainly #cocktail #could #days #dress

You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar. ↗

— George Carlin

#candy #chocolate #eating #feeling #know

Castro couldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet. ↗

— Richard M. Nixon

#castro #even #go #nickel #put

Love is like a forest, I think as I kill trees by squandering toilet paper while “decorating” my ex girlfriend’s front yard.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#crazy #decorate #decorating #forest #girlfriend

Yeah...I finally understood it... That exchanging information... Sharing time... The act of "let's go to the bathroom together" was the holy ritual of confirming one's friendship... Until now I was an idiot doing stupid things. ↗

— Taishi Zaou

#friendship #toilet #friendship

No, thanks," said Harry. "The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it - it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #toilet #humor

The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#holly #lep #mud-boys #toilet #science

Can you imagine a guy breaking into your car, and he steals your guitar case 'cause he thinks it's a guitar, and he gets it home and opens it up and there's a rake inside it, an electric toilet plunger and a dog skull? That actually happened. ↗

— Eugene Chadbourne

#breaking #car #case #cause #dog