#twitter

If I had one wish, it would be for self-drying pants. Wait -- no! Unlimited wishes! How do I return these stupid pants?! ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#pants #twitter #wishes #twitter

MarkBaynard: If you start hanging out over here, won't your Facebook Friends miss you? Abby_Donovan: Those people weren't my friends. If they had been, they wouldn't have sent me all those annoying quizzes. MarkBaynard: A true friend never asks you to feed their imaginary fish. Or fertilize their imaginary crops. Abby_Donovan: Although with a little coaxing, I might be persuaded to take home your imaginary kitten. So how is Twitter different from Facebook? MarkBaynard: Twitter is the perpetual cocktail party where everyone is talking at once but nobody is saying anything. ↗

— Teresa Medeiros

#twitter

Hating "The Great Gatsby" (the novel) is like spitting into the Grand Canyon. It will not be going away anytime soon, but you will be. ↗

— Joyce Carol Oates

#twitter #twitter

It's when the 'international community' expresses 'concern' about your 'situation' that your situation is well and truly fucked. ↗

— Michael D. Weiss

#geopolitics #inaction #international-community #politics #syria

The Yankees' Facebook page was hacked. The hacker was immediately purchased and signed to a 5 year contract with the Yankees. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#facebook #hacking #humour #new-york-yankees #sport

So I don’t think I’ll make Poet Laureate, but I swear I’m not twisted and bitter, If finely-wrought talents don’t weigh in the balance, I can always write haiku on Twitter. ↗

— Rosy Cole

#contemporary-poets #new-releases #poetry #quotes #rosy-cole

Most people give up their pursuit of genius early on and spend their lives desperately seeking it in others. ↗

— K.A. Laity

#twitter

I'd spent five minutes looking at Twitter once and felt I'd wandered into a poker game where everyone immediately displayed their hands against the cool green of the felt. ↗

— Jeff Abbott

#twitter

There hasn't been a scandal this big at the C.I.A. since (CLASSIFIED) committed (CENSORED) to (REDACTED). ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#twitter

Twittering just seemed to be people telling other people what they were doing--getting in the shower, making coffee. Who on earth wanted to know these things?...Babble and twitter. Full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. ↗

— Kate Atkinson

#technology #twitter