#u

I can’t believe I’ve missed this sport. It’s all about fingering holes and caressing balls. ↗

— K.A. Mitchell

#funny #k-a-mitchell #sport #funny

You must be careful when you ask people whether they’re happy; it’s a question that can upset them a great deal. ↗

— François Lelord

#true #funny

A shadow crossed Andrea's face. "I don't want to be his TWT-IHFB." "What does that mean?" "That Weird Thing I Haven't Fucked Before." I choked. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#kate-daniels #shapeshifter #vampyre #funny

The cat dropped the rat between its two front paws. "There are those," it said with a sigh, in tones as smooth as oiled silk, "who have suggested that the tendency of a cat to play with its prey is a merciful one - after all, it permits the occasional funny little running snack to escape, from time to time. How often does your dinner get to escape? ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#funny

The workshop door opened and Skulduggery emerged. "Ryan," he said, "stop leaning on my car. ↗

— Derek Landy

#pleasant #skulduggery #funny

And you'd think that killing people would make them like you, but it doesn't. It just- it just makes them dead. ↗

— Joe Walker (as Voldemort in AVPM)

#joe-walker #supermegafoxyawesomehot #totally-awesome #voldemort #wise-words

Rule number four for me as a writer? Plotlines are like sharks: They either keep moving or they die. ~J.R. Ward ↗

— J.R. Ward

#tips #writing #funny

Finding the book was like kissing a lightning bolt. ↗

— Karen Miller

#funny #humor #funny

Shut. Up," June squealed. "You have a date with that guy?" She giggled and covered her mouth. "Shut up, shut up, shut up! Tell me everything." "I can't do both," I pointed out. ↗

— Robin Benway

#funny

There was this funny thing of anything could happen now that we realized everything had. ↗

— Raymond Carver

#life #misery #funny