#um

Money is the best recipe for happiness. ↗

— Jane Austen

#humor

Tell me of this Wizard Howl of yours". Sophie's teeth chattered but she said proudly, "He's the best wizard in Ingary or anywhere else. If he'd only had time, he would have defeated that djinn. And he's sly and selfish and vain as a peacock and cowardly, and you can't pin him down to anything. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#love #romance #sincerity #humor

If you hear a "prominent" economist using the word 'equilibrium,' or 'normal distribution,' do not argue with him; just ignore him, or try to put a rat down his shirt. ↗

— Nassim Nicholas Taleb

#humor #randomness #humor

Writing poetry and reading books causes brain damage. ↗

— Pat Conroy

#poetry #writing #humor

Helen savored the peace and quiet that only came in the complete absence of stupid questions. ↗

— Christopher Farnsworth

#humor

Monty Python: A documentary series on everyday life in Great Britain. ↗

— Frank Portman

#monty-python #humor

May your balls rot like fruit in the sun, and your manhood wither at the root! ↗

— Elizabeth Vaughan

#humor

Throughout the course of the day, Bobby Tom's irritation over his artificially oiled and dirt-smeared chest and his unzipped jeans had flared into righteous indignation. They were treating him like a sex object! It was damned demeaning, that's what it was, being reduced to a set of oil pecs and a tight ass. Shit. A dozen years in the NFL, and this was what it had all come down to. Pecs and ass. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#men #sex-symbol #humor

You think he has some bomb defusing MacGyver contraption cooked up that involves lube, condoms, and a paper clip? ↗

— Stephani Hecht

#humor #sex #humor

Her chances of a decent marriage were about to be dashed-and all because of a ferret. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #marriage #poppy #spinster #humor