#v

Well, anyway, this'll be easier than knocking an elf out of a tree. Trust me.' 'How many elves have you knocked out of trees, Stubble?' 'Duraden's bones! Have ye never heard of a figure of speech? ↗

— Ian Livingstone

#dialogue #fantasy #funny #stubble #zagor

Insta-love isn’t something that happens in real life. It happens in the books I read, but not in the world I live. Though here stands this beautiful, sexy, funny, sweet and amazing guy who has done everything short of professing love at first sight to me and I’m still standing here like a pair of lungs suffocating, needing him in order to breathe. ↗

— Kathryn Vance-Perez

#japan #kissing #love #romance #truth

I do not simply imagine that I am cultivated - I pretend as well. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #imagination #pretending #funny

When horsepower matches willpower, a road trip doesn’t end with the ocean. It only begins with a six pack. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #horsepower #humor #road-trips #willpower

Mr. Pot drank ten pots of coffee, even though I only made eight. That’s a savings of 20%!
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #coffee #funny #humor #random

I managed to beat Michael Phelps’ 400 meter IM time. And not only did I beat his time, but I did it in exactly 200 meters.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #compete #competition #competitive #delusional

Voting for the lesser of two evils is still voting for evil. Next time, why don’t you go all out and write in Lucifer on the ballot?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #politicians #politics

Everything is as good or bad as our opinion makes it. ↗

— C.S. Lewis

#till-we-have-faces #inspirational

If he wants me broken, then I will have to be whole. ↗

— Suzanne Collins

#mockingjay #suzanne-collins #to-capitol #katniss

Spandex bodysuits, huh?” His eyes twinkled. “If that’s what turns you on—I’m all for giving it a try. ↗

— J.C. Reed

#love #romance #funny