#w

Huevos up. Swing up to the window, swing back to Al B. Hall, who says, "Bless you," and would I get him a bottle of Satan's Red-Hot Revenge for the eggs? Sure thing, Pastor. ↗

— Joan Bauer

#funny #funny

Did you notice anything funny about Edwart in class? I think I love him,” I said nonchalantly. “Well, he did look kind of angry when you fell and disconnected his computer charger.” So it wasn’t all in my mind; others had noticed Edwart’s awareness of me. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #funny

I Take Life Very Seriously: One Joke At A Time. ↗

— Sandra Chami Kassis

#life #philosophy #quotes #truth #wisdom-inspirational

You have terminated me,” one of them said in a strange, flat voice. “But I am one of many.” “Robots!” Iggy breathed, taking Total from Angel. “One of many, one of many, one of many,” the robot Eraser was saying. Now Nudge saw the red light in its eyes, saw how they were fading and winking out. “Good!” spat the Gasman, kicking it hard. “Because we like to blow stuff up, blow stuff up, blow stuff up! ↗

— James Patterson

#bombs #fight #flying #funny #lol

Nix and Emma: 'Looks like you just found a new talent.' 'Great. Why couldn't I be good at underwater origami or something? ↗

— Kresley Cole

#kresley-cole #nix-the-ever-knowing #nucking-futs-nix #funny

Funny + sad is what I'm pitching for, every time. ↗

— Nick Hornby

#funny

To be, or not to be: what a question! ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#faust #funny #humor #marlowe #philosophical-humor

He seemed only ... annoyed. Annoyed, and sweaty, and hot. "Yeah, well," he said, "the next time you decide to sneak out of our magically warded apartment through a door that shouldn't really exist, leave a note. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#cassandra-clare #city-of-lost-souls #clary-fray #humor #jace-lightwood

It was easier when all we wanted to do was eat them and take their stuff,” he grumbled. And it had been easier when he hadn’t cared if he made any of them cry. ↗

— Anne Bishop

#sweet #funny

A brick could be used as a Disappointment Cube. Here, I’m giving mine to you, because you really bummed me out, man.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny