#w

I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#fix #gonna #i #joke #last

It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then? ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#football #how #like #now #people

I want to get up there and tell entertaining stories but that are also to a certain extent clean. ↗

— Jon Heder

#certain #certain extent #clean #entertaining #extent

I'm not going chic, I swear. The geek endures. But, I mean, a snazzy cool suit looks good. ↗

— Jon Heder

#cool #endures #geek #going #good

Just as long as something is gained, a lesson is learned. I do like those. The more quiet victories are always great. ↗

— Jon Heder

#gained #great #i #i do #just

Normally I avoid movies where the aliens look like humans. It's cheesy. ↗

— Jon Heder

#cheesy #humans #i #like #look

What we did in our childhoods makes us who we are now. ↗

— Jon Heder

#did #makes #now #our #us

When I was young, I told my sister that she had chunky thighs. She slapped me and I cried. She feels bad about it to this day, but I feel worse. ↗

— Jon Heder

#bad #cried #day #feel #feels

As far as I know, Vera Miles had a terrible time with Hitchcock, and she wanted to get out of the contract. He didn't let her. She did 'Psycho,' and I believe, if you look at 'Psycho,' there isn't one close up of Vera, not one. After that, she would never even speak about him to anyone. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#after #anyone #as far as #believe #close

Because of 'The Birds' and 'Marnie' I was, as the expression goes, hot in Hollywood and producers and directors wanted to hire me. ↗

— Tippi Hedren

#birds #directors #expression #goes #hire