#we

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel. ↗

— David Letterman

#bad news #bomb #camel #drop #experts

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments. ↗

— David Letterman

#gentlemen #great #i #into #jokes

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you. ↗

— David Letterman

#apart #civilization #falls #new #new york

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either. ↗

— David Letterman

#approval #become #bush #does #either

The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. He's dead, then he's alive, then dead, then alive. It's just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral. ↗

— David Letterman

#big #confusing #dead #debate #funeral

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts. ↗

— David Letterman

#because #carts #changed #confused #dog

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were wrong. ↗

— David Letterman

#i #knew #met #people #tempered

Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' children. ↗

— Sam Levenson

#beast #child #children #cry #mensch

The University conceives of itself as dedicated to the power of the intellect. Its commitment is to the way of reason. ↗

— Edward Levi

#conceives #dedicated #intellect #itself #power

The scientific mind does not so much provide the right answers as ask the right questions. ↗

— Claude Levi-Strauss

#ask #does #mind #much #provide