#y

I may not always be right, but when I am, I admit it ↗

— Ken Murray

#funny #funny

No, officer, I have no idea why I'm wearing this possum costume. I called you what? OH. My bad." -Nastasya ↗

— Cate Tiernan

#funny

What on earth would I do if four bears came into my camp? Why, I would die of course. Literally shit myself lifeless. ↗

— Bill Bryson

#attack #bear #camp #camping #funny

Sometimes I wish I had an easy answer for why I'm depressed. ↗

— Ned Vizzini

#its-kind-of-a-funny-story #ned-vizinni #funny

At the very leadt, we can grab Monica and hustle her skanky ass back to her dad wile you brave, strong menfolk hold off the bad guys. Right? ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor #random #funny

We're clear," she said. "You're kind of a psycho. I get that ↗

— Rachel Caine

#funny #morganville-vampires #funny

She had put on make-up in a colour scheme that indicated she might be colourblind. ↗

— Stieg Larsson

#make-up #funny

Sheep hurt my father, and through my father, sheep have also hurt me. ↗

— Haruki Murakami

#funny

Last winter, when so many Living joined the Dead and our prey became scarce, I watched some of my friends become full-dead. The transition was undramatic. They just slowed down, then stopped, and after a while I realised they were corpses. It disquieted me at first, but it’s against etiquette to notice when one of us dies. I distracted myself with some groaning. ↗

— Isaac Marion

#funny

Don't you want to know what cookies is a code word for?" "No! Good God, no! ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#cam #code-word #cookie #cookies #funny