#y

I don't really like New York better than Portland. It's just a different place. ↗

— Elliott Smith

#different #different place #i #just #like

It's the time of year when the literati give advice on what we should be reading on our summer holidays. These terrifying lists often leave me appalled at my own ignorance, but also suspicious about the pretension of their advocates. ↗

— Arthur Smith

#advice #also #appalled #give #holidays

A brick could be used in conjunction with another brick to be the Democrat and Republican Presidential candidates. People will say, Vote for the brick on the left, or, The brick on the right is better. But do not be deceived—they're both the same, and they're both bricks.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

You can't go to a negotiating table pointing a gun, but you've got to keep it over your shoulder. ↗

— Joe Slovo

#got #gun #keep #negotiating #over

Every season has its peaks and valleys. What you have to try to do is eliminate the Grand Canyon. ↗

— Andy Van Slyke

#eliminate #every #grand #grand canyon #peaks

I can only guess that, for guys in their 30s and 40s who watched me play, they understood that the score never mattered and my paycheck never mattered (in relation) to how I played. I played with Little League enthusiasm and professional flair. That's what fans are really looking for. ↗

— Andy Van Slyke

#fans #flair #guess #guys #how

I don't care what you do - baseball or politics - George W. Bush is always going to be compared to his father. I just want it to be an easy answer in 50 years - Who was the better player, me, or my kids? I want it to be my kids. ↗

— Andy Van Slyke

#answer #baseball #better #better player #bush

I was a ballerina for 10 years growing up, but I stopped. ↗

— Amy Smart

#growing #growing up #i #stopped #up

A brick could be used as a doorstop. But why bother? To promote an open-door policy, I had all the walls knocked down. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

What kind of good deeds? Like Girl Scouts? Because I got kicked out of Brownies and they won't give me another chance to keep my clothes on at camp. ↗

— Haven Kimmel

#funny