I wish I could get all the discourteous drivers on a ship and sail them away and make sure it's a really horrible, wavy journey and when they get to where they're going, keep them there.

Martin also achieved the rare feat of scoring a hat-trick against three different Newcastle United goalkeepers — Martin Thomas who was then injured and outfield players Chris Hedworth and Peter Beardsley — in a Football League First Division match in April 1986 which the Hammers won 8–1. Alvin Edward Martin (born 29 July 1958) is a retired English footballer who played as a defender. Martin went on to amass nearly 600 first-team appearances for the Hammers in a successful 19-year professional career at Upton Park in which he became one of only two players along with Billy Bonds to be awarded two testimonials.

Playing 17 times for England during the 1980s Martin represented them at the 1986 World Cup. Playing most of his footballing career for West Ham United he appeared in 598 games for scoring 34 goals.