The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one's narcissism. The narcissistic orientation is one in which one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself, while the phenomena in the outside world have no reality in themselves, but are experienced only from the viewpoint of their being useful or dangerous to one. The opposite pole to narcissism is objectivity; it is the faculty to see other people and things as they are, objectively, and to be able to separate this objective picture from a picture which is formed by one's desires and fears.

). He observed that embracing our freedom of will was healthy whereas escaping freedom through the use of escape mechanisms was the root of psychological conflicts. Drawing from his knowledge of the Torah Fromm pointed to the story of Jonah who did not wish to save the residents of Nineveh from the consequences of their sin as demonstrative of his belief that the qualities of care and responsibility are generally absent from most human relationships.

Erich SeligmannFromm (March 23 1900 – March 18 1980) was a German social psychologist psychoanalyst sociologist humanistic philosopher and democratic socialist.