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I’m glad you’re gay,” she said solemnly, “because that way, if I can’t have you, no one can.” “Um, Rocher,” I mentioned, “like, a dude could have him.” This had never occurred to Rocher because she’d thought that Jate being gay translated as, “I love Rocher Bargemueller so much but I don’t deserve her so I’ll never have sex again.” The concept of Jate with a guy was fresh turf and Rocher regarded him with an especially deranged sparkle in her eyes. “I could be a dude,” she said.


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