#absurd

Women need a reason to have sex, while men just need an angle ↗

— Josh Stern

#humor-funny-absurd #me #need #reason #women

A tailor walks into a lawyer, and the bar says, "I like your suit." And the tailor replies, "This morning I spotted a non-sequitur detective. Don't worry, he didn't follow me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #surreal #funny

A brick and a blanket together create a blick. That’s it. That’s all I got. ↗

— Amy Summers

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I've knitted myself a hat, it's plum red with an appealing lace pattern, I figured that a few air holes would be nice now that it's spring. I put it on and feel like a cranberry in the snow, and I wonder if they can see me from the moon. Me and the Great Wall. ↗

— Kjersti A. Skomsvold

#funny #funny

You can sit on a brick, and milk a cow with a blanket. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#bizarre #brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses

A blanket could be used as a lovely rug, a rug that just so happens to be covering a large hole, you should really feel this rug! ↗

— Nicole McKay

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #humor

I did not marry the first girl that I fell in love with, because there was a tremendous religious conflict, at the time. She was an atheist, and I was an agnostic. ↗

— Woody Allen

#atheism #humor #religion #humor

The nuclear arms race is like two sworn enemies standing waist deep in gasoline, one with three matches, the other with five. ↗

— Carl Sagan

#humor #reason #sagan #war #humor

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #humor