#absurd

To you, I'm an atheist. To God, I'm the loyal opposition. ↗

No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled. "Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?" "What?" "Oh, you'd like something simpler? ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #interrogation #police #humor

[Mom] said she didn't want her youngest daughter dressed in the thrift-store clothes the rest of us wore. Mom told us we would have to go shoplifting. "Isn't that a sin?" I asked Mom. "Not exactly," Mom said. "God doesn't mind you bending the rules a little if you have good reason. It's sort of like justifiable homicide. This is justifiable pilfering. ↗

— Jeannette Walls

#family #glass-castle #jeannette-walls #family

If love had feathers and tasted like dog food, then I suggest you wear shoes with your banana pudding. (This statement also defines my political beliefs). ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#beliefs #funny #love #political #politics

The absurd consequences of neglecting structure but using the concept of order just the same are evident if one examines the present terminology of information theory. ↗

— Rudolf Arnheim

#concept #consequences #evident #examines #information

Which half do you want me to cut in half, Mr. Halfofhalf?  The name’s Onequarter. Johnny Onequarter. And don’t you forget it. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny-dialogue #surreal #funny

My husband does so many romantic things for me, it's absurd. ↗

— Jennifer Beals

#does #husband #many #me #romantic

Most Americans would agree that Plowshares is a Theatre of the Absurd. ↗

— Daniel Berrigan

#agree #most #theatre #would

To win respect, the networks seem to feel they have to keep absurdly overstating their anchors' reporting cred. ↗