#absurd

I can bench press steam, but not fog. I just have to wait until the fog lifts itself.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bench-press #fog #natural #nature #passion

I have nothing but respect for you -- and not much of that. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#gibe #insult #respect

If I have to beat you up to keep you safe, that’s just what I’ll do. It’s this kind of regard for others that makes me believe I’d be a good politician. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#awareness #bad #fight #good #oppression

I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom...and a moth ate my sports jacket. He was laying on the floor, nauseous, y'know. ↗

— Woody Allen

#sports

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion. ↗

— Jon Stewart

#organized-religion #paradox #religion #hope

Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities. ↗

— Voltaire

#atheism #atrocities #barbarity #injustice #religion

Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty. ↗

— Groucho Marx

#state

I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty. ↗

— Woody Allen

#liberty

More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. ↗

— Woody Allen

#path

I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba. ↗

— Woody Allen

#spirit