#absurd

O.K., then, all right, they would adopt a white-trash dog. Ha ha. They could name it Zeke, buy it a little corncob pipe and a straw hat. She imagined the puppy, having crapped on the rug, looking up at her, going, Cain’t hep it. But no. Had she come from a perfect place? Everything was transmutable. She imagined the puppy grown up, entertaining some friends, speaking to them in a British accent: My family of origin was, um, rather not, shall we say, of the most respectable... Ha ha, wow, the mind was amazing, always cranking out these— ↗

— George Saunders

#humor #puppy #family

Advice in old age is foolish; for what can be more absurd than to increase our provisions for the road the nearer we approach to our journey's end. ↗

— Marcus Tullius Cicero

#absurd #advice #approach #end #foolish

Writers fish for the right words like fishermen fish for, um, whatever those aquatic creatures with fins and gills are called. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#aquatic #bizarre #creatures #fins #fish

What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that’s why he's number two. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#best #bizarre #competing #competition #competitor

I want to protect innocent people from sin by locking them in cages, where the evil can't get to them. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cages #evil #funny #illogical #innocence

I’ve often wondered why more science textbooks don’t tell teenagers that the only thing sharks like to eat more than fish, are dead prostitutes. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dead #fish #funny #humor #prostitutes

If you were to ask me the best time of day to fall in love, I'd say, "Now." But you'd also have to remember to factor in the fact that my watch is eleven minutes fast. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#ask #fact #factor #fall-in-love #funny

You love all your characters, even the ridiculous ones. You have to on some level; they're your weird creations in some kind of way. I don't even know how you approach the process of conceiving the characters if in a sense you hated them. It's just absurd. ↗

— Joel Coen

#approach #characters #conceiving #creations #even

Only by living absurdly is it possible to break out of this infinite absurdity. ↗

— Julio Cortazar

#absurdly #break #infinite #living #only

I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world. ↗

— Georges Duhamel

#god #i #idea #make #much