#absurd

HOBBES: All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once. ↗

— Bill Watterson

#technology

If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it. ↗

— Albert Einstein

#idea

A gas station pump/jukebox. Look, my car runs on 80s music! ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dream #fragment #surreal #dreams

I had a quicksand box as a kid. I was an only child... eventually. ↗

— Steven Wright

#humor #humor

I saw a bottle of conditioner the other day that said, "Family Size," and I thought, That's odd, I didn't know too many families showered together. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#family-size #funny #humor #risiculous #shower

The Italians say “Chow.” To them it means “Bye,” but to me it means food. Of the greetings, goodbye is the desert. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #odd #strange

It is a Bush administration official on the moment when torture breaks a victim: The job of the interrogator is to safely help the terrorist do his duty to Allah, so he then feels liberated to speak freely. From Neil Gaiman's account of a torturer in hell: We will hurt you. And we are not sorry. But we do not do it to punish you. We do it to redeem you. Because afterward, you'll be a better person ... and because we love you. One day you'll thank us for it. War is peace. Torture is freedom. In the end, you love Big Brother. ↗

— Andrew Sullivan

#life #freedom

I want to spend less time talking about myself, and more time listening to what other people have to say about me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #listening #myself #selfish

I would pour you a glass of wine, but wouldn’t it be more romantic if you sipped it out of my armpit? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#alcohol #drinking #foreplay #funny #humor

My close friends are fond of telling me that I put the “yalt” in loyalty. Well, I don’t know if I’d go that far with it, but yeah, I guess I am a pretty yalty person. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#crazy #friends #funny #loyalty #ridiculous