#absurd

My love may be invisible, but that doesn’t mean you can’t taste it. (It tastes like a sonic boom, only not as bitter).
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— Jarod Kintz

#bitter #invisible #love #nonsense #sonic-boom

Despite marking the spot, Generation X has no treasure. How could they, when I dug it up first? 
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— Jarod Kintz

#digging #generation #generation-x #map #nonsense

Have you ever heard a blindfolded octopus unwrap a cellophane-covered bathtub? ↗

— Norton Juster

#bathtub #fantasy #fiction #hearing #kids

Love happens to some people, sometimes. Other times other stuff happens to other people. I’m a person like those people.
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— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #odd #strange

Through the window yesterday I saw a fool talking to himself, and it made me laugh, until I realized it was a mirrored window. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fool #funny #humor #laughter #funny

A brick represents all the evil in the world. We should start a War on Bricks. And why not? It’s more tangible, yet just as nonsensical, as the War on Terror.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #evil #tangible #war

Scoop out my soul with a spoon like it’s a cantaloupe, and I’ll tell you that love is breakfast. And I’d love to make breakfast to Agatha one more time. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #random #love

If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels.... ↗

— Josh Stern

#funny #humor #naked #paints #picture

Women need a reason to have sex, while men just need an angle ↗

— Josh Stern

#humor-funny-absurd #me #need #reason #women

A tailor walks into a lawyer, and the bar says, "I like your suit." And the tailor replies, "This morning I spotted a non-sequitur detective. Don't worry, he didn't follow me. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #surreal #funny